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![I So Lonely Song I So Lonely Song](/uploads/1/2/5/6/125617917/141831117.jpg)
Fair warning, there's a wall of text and a bunch of depressing combinations of words ahead. Over the last few months I've become aware of just how lonely I am. I mean relationship wise, I have a few good close friends and I get along with my family but I'm 20 years old and I've never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. I know some people can deal with never having a partner but I'm not that sort of guy. I want to love someone no have them love me back.
I finished high school almost three years ago which means it's been three years since I last talked to a girl. I have slight social anxiety so I don't go out clubbing or any other place I could possible meet a girl (plus living in the Australian country doesn't help, not much going on out here).
This is so sad, I've actually started taking a train (that takes 2 hours out of my day and I do it once a week) to try and meet girls. And I of course see several pretty girls on the train I'm attracted too but I never get the courage to go talk to them. Instead I awkwardly glance at them every few minutes and wonder what our life could be like together. Thats even worse though because I start to enjoy our imaginary life but then the train arrives at its destination and I just feel creepy, sad and lonely. That might be the worst feeling, when a girl I'm attracted to gets on the train and gives me slight hope she might talk to me or I might get the confidence to get up and talk to her. But then the hour passes, she leaves, that little bit of hope plummets and leaves me with a sinking feeling in my heart. The worst part is I don't see a situation that will lead me to ever getting a girlfriend or even my first kiss.
I don't have enough confidence to ever just start talking to a random girl and I don't go to university or have a job so I can't meet a girl like that. I've tried dating sites and that didn't lead anywhere, just made me feel even more lonely and unwanted. It really just seems like I'm going to be like this forever (I really think it will be years if ever until I get a girlfriend) and no girl will ever want to go out with me.
I originally started writing this to try and get some of my inner thoughts off my chest but writing it all out just makes me sad. I just don't want to be lonely.
Edit: Thank you to everyone taking the time to comment, I appreciate that. I see a lot of comments saying go to Uni or get a job. I can't go to Uni because I can't afford it and I'm not qualified. As for getting a job, that's something I've been trying to do and need to do.
It's just a bit hard for someone with very little skill and slight social anxiety to get a job. I'd love to get a job in IT but living in the Australian country isn't a very good opportunity for finding IT type jobs. But you're all right I should really put more (if not all) effort into finding a job. Hey man, sorry you are feeling so lonely.
It's a shitty feeling. My suggestion is to skip taking the train.
The only people who fall in love on subways are in commercials. It's just not a good meeting place. So, where do you meet people? First, make sure you are trying to meet people, not just girls. Whatever event you are at, make an effort to converse and be friendly with everyone! When you go, go to make friends instead of to find your soul mate, it makes things so much easier!
Find things you enjoy doing. Join a running club and never miss a meetup. Head to a car show. Challenge some people at an arcade.
The secret to finding someone that you click with is not randomly finding them, but to place yourselves in a situation where it's likely to find someone with shared interests. If you don't have any applicable hobbies, you're in luck! You are going to get some new ones. If you need suggestions, pm me, but I'm pretty sure you can figure it out. Get your local paper and find something that will get you out of the house meeting people.
It's going to take some work but candidly, the work doesn't stop after you are dating, so you may as well learn to enjoy it. Message me if think you need encouragement and I'll provide it. Good luck man!! Sounds like your life kind of sucks now. You have no job. You have no school. What are you doing with your life?
Your dumb ass needs to get your own life going first. Start school. Do something.
![Song i get so lonely Song i get so lonely](/uploads/1/2/5/6/125617917/662662053.jpg)
What do you want to do in life? Where do you want to be in 20 years? You won't get where you need to be like this.
Go make your life better first. The more you have going on, the less lonely you will feel.
Make yourself the best you can be. Relationships ultimately won't be about making yourself feel good. They're about making the other person feel on top of the world, because that's how much you care about them. How can anyone do that for you if you feel so down about yourself? Find something you like, and start doing it.
Do that, and you'll meet people. Focus on yourself and the other people will come eventually. Everyone gets lonely, OP.
Fix that first, and confidence will follow. I know how you feel I'm 20 and the same way. I mean I'm at a university but I just don't see myself getting a boyfriend before I graduate and I'm afraid about how hard it will be to meet guys let alone date outside of university.
I post this in reply to Since I believe he is right. We do have a long time ahead of us to find someone. A general rule is to make yourself happy before you try to make someone else happy.
I like the idea but despite being in many extra curricular activities I find enjoyable I don't feel quite complete without having someone to love. Everyone's lonely.
Myself included. There isn't much to do in that department except soldier on. We can improve ourselves, learn to be happy by ourselves (whatever that means), but we can't really just.
Stop being lonely. Meeting someone you're compatible with happens whenever the universe goddamn well pleases. At least, seems that way to me. But count your blessings.
I'm in a really similar boat. A lot of us are. But I'm gay, too.
So imagine that. The exact same struggle, the same hard time meeting guys who you like, who you'd be comfortable with going up and saying hi and getting to know - but they're more than likely going to be straight anyway. It's an extraordinarily small consolation. But maybe chin up a little, or try to. It could always be worse. And above all, hang in there.
We'll find them some day.:). I don't know how much help it might be, but look into online dating. Yes, the hot women will be flooded with a million messages. I sort of gave up on it, but I did fill in my profile honestly with my interests, hobbies, personality, etc. Just a couple days ago a hot girl messaged me. No it wasn't a fake bot.
I can only assume she got tired of pathetic assholes trying so hard to get in her pants, that she decided to seek out someone who actually has similar interests. We've been talking back and forth since.
No clue if it will go anywhere, but it's worth a try. Edit: You're Australian?
Come to America then. The women cream their pants over your accent. All you have to do it be able to say hello and the girls will take over from there. And I of course see several pretty girls on the train I'm attracted too but I never get the courage to go talk to them. Instead I awkwardly glance at them every few minutes and wonder what our life could be like together. Get the fuck out of your own head.
First off, you're 20, so your life is really just beginning. Second off, stop imagining futures with women when you haven't even said hello. Third, you aren't going to talk to people on the train when you lack in social skills. What you need to do is join some group activities and learn how to socialize a bit. Second you need to eliminate the crutches in your life that you use to fill the void when you are bored.
Third you need to realize that being alone is better than being in a shitty relationship, a lot of people are really unhappy being together. You need friends first. If you meet a girl do not think of her as a potential girlfriend you will psych yourself out. She's just a girl, and you know what, you're probably not compatible. Talk to her, see, and do not think about asking her out. Talk to people and one day you'll feel a little differently about somebody and your intrigue will be so ridiculously high that everything happens naturally.